Ok, so far I've kept this bolg pretty much on track with running, and it've been debating going into anything else. I've decided to share a little more, but not too much!
Of course it involves the whole guy situation/dating. For a quick re-cap on what got me into this whole running thing, read my very first post, or here is an excerpt from it -
"I'll spare you the details (for now), but I went through a situation with a friend of mine right around my 32nd birthday, and it wore me out....completely. It was stressful, painful, scarey, and exhausting. The thing is, it wasn't "about me", I was merely helping this person out when they were in a very bad place in their life. Eventually it took a toll on me and left me questioning everything about myself, somehow it rocked my confidence and left me low, to pick up the pieces on my own.Sometimes to find yourself or "get yourself back" you need to push outside of your comfort zone. Show yourself how strong you are and exactly what you can do, prove that you are not broken. Well, at least this is the way my brain works. So, that is exactly what I did."
So, that "person", has been a significant part of my life, on and off, for nearly 10 years. We are now in differnet states, but sometimes you would never know it. We are TOTALLY NOT together, at all, I am completely single. It's the relationship that won't go away, but it's the relationship that won't work. We've always been there for each other (moment of honesty - I have always been there, his attendance is more like 60% at best). Anyway, I should have walked away a long time ago, actually I should have sprinted! There have been some other random dates for me, NOTHING of any significance, as I have still been "carrying the torch" BIG TIME!
Things can go on for a couple weeks, few phone calls here and there, no big deal, and then something happens and it's like a bomb, and everything spirals out of control (for me). In reality, nothing really happens, but at the moment it feels like something really bad has happened.
That is what happened yesterday. Something (that was really nothing) happened, and there I was - spiraling away! The rest of the day pretty much sucked......until I went out for my run last night. It took a lot of prodding to get my booty out there, then I remembered I might run into the "trail hottie" from the previous post, and got myself out there. I never did see "trail hottie", but the more I ran the better I felt, so I ran a little further and a little faster than I planned. When I was done I felt a million times better, like I got myself back.
This will be an ongoing challenge for me (moving on), but I am up for it.
So here is my plan (always gotta have a plan)!!!
1. Keep getting out there more (happy hour, running groups, ...)
2. Keep everything in perspective and not let the actions of someone else effect my day in such a huge way.
3. Work on "keeping the distance" from the negative, and FOCUS on my progress, my goals, and all things positive!!
Enough of my "other stuff", here's a re-cap of my run last night-
Back to Peters Trail, did 5.5 miles. My 5 mile time was 47 minutes!
My Blister - it came back. So sad, but I'm going to get rid of it, one way or another!!!!
Sloppy Run (or "I Love My YakTrax!")
1 day ago